


What We Regret

by Eleanor



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-11
Updated: 2006-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleanor/pseuds/Eleanor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life doesn't always end the way you think it will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of what will be at least a two part story, maybe even three. I had a few words jump out at me that I thought would go well together. And I wanted to write at least one story that wasn't completely fluff.

**Title:** What We Regret  
 **Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
 **Characters:** Daniel, Sam  
 **Prompt:** 3 - 042 - Suffocate  
 **Word Count:** 1292  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Summary:** Life doesn't always end the way you think it will.  
 **Author's Notes:** This is part one of what will be at least a two part story, maybe even three. I had a few words jump out at me that I thought would go well together. And I wanted to write at least one story that wasn't completely fluff.

"I have to admit, I never thought it would end like this," Daniel said with a slight sigh. "I can hear Jack yelling at me now about how I spend too much time looking at rocks."

The corner of Sam's mouth raised in a sort of ironic half-smile. "Could be worse. It could be trees." She took a deep breath. "I always thought the Goa'uld or the Ori would get us. Hopefully while we're saving the world. We've been shot at, blown up, abducted, had our bodies taken over..." Sam looked around the small space she and Daniel were currently trapped in. The space was no more than five feet in diameter and maybe three feet high. SG-1 had been on a simple mission. Just a quick look at some artifacts on an uninhabited planet. Daniel's kind of mission. But as she, Vala, and Daniel were inspecting a cave filled with ancient writings, they heard a rumble and the ground shook. The earthquake, though slight, caused the cave to collapse around them. Once the dust settled, a brief scan told Carter that the small space they were in was very unstable. Too unstable to attempt to dig their way out. They would just have to wait and hope for rescue. And hope that Vala had gotten out safely. "If the lack of oxygen was going to get us, I figured we'd at least be out in space or underwater."

Sam and Daniel were both a bit bruised and scraped up, but no worse for the wear. Unfortunately, however, in addition to showing the cavern's instability, Sam's scans told her that there was very little outside air getting to them. They were going to use up their oxygen in a relatively short amount of time. They sat side by side, leaning against the cave wall they had been previously inspecting, legs stretched out in front of them. A flashlight provided the only light, and created eerie shadows on the walls. Sam's eyes flicked around the walls, looking for something, anything that would show her the way out of this. She had blown up a sun. Saved millions of lives. And here she was, unable to find a way out of a stupid cave-in.

"Sam," Daniel said softly, placing his hand on her thigh. "There's nothing we can do. We just have to wait and hope that they can get us out."

"If they know where we are," she said, playing with the edge of her pants pocket.

Daniel gently grasped her hand and stilled her movements. "Vala got out. She'll get Teal'c and Cam. They're working on getting us out right now, Sam. They won't give up on us."

She rubbed her free hand over her face. "You're right. Cam and Teal'c won't give up until they get to us..." she trailed off. "We've been in worse situations before, after all." After a few minutes, she continued. "I don't like the waiting, not being able to do anything," she admitted softly.

"I know you don't," he replied. After a moment, he continued. "We probably shouldn't be talking."

She nodded, slightly sadly. "Uses up the oxygen faster," she said in agreement. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She laid her head down on her knees, facing Daniel but staring blankly past him, into the shadowy darkness.

After fifteen to twenty minutes of fidgeting and waiting, Daniel spoke again. "I can't just sit here in the silence. I feel like we're just waiting to die."

This time, Sam took the position of the optimist. One of them had to believe they'd get out of there or they'd never make it. And Sam knew their team wouldn't give up on them. She had to believe it. "We're waiting to be saved," she replied, her voice a choked whisper as she tried to convince both herself and Daniel.

"Do you have any regrets?" he asked.

Sam wondered if he was just trying to start conversation and decided to go with it, rather than sit in silence and worry. "I regret not discovering the seismic activity on this planet earlier."

Daniel rolled his eyes in the dim light. "No, I mean things you wish you had done with your life."

"We have to believe we'll get out of here, Daniel," she said, skirting the question. "Besides, haven't you died at least twice?"

"True. And really, I'd prefer to not do that again. But if this is it for us... Anything you wish you'd done?"

Sam turned and rested her chin on her knee, facing the opposite wall. "I think there will always be things I wish I had done. Movies I wanted to see, books I intended to read, friends I meant to call or visit..."

"Anyone in particular?" Daniel prodded gently.

"I keep telling Mark that I'll go visit him and his family when we're on downtime. But I always find myself working on something else and I never get out there." She paused, thinking. "I've got a friend from the academy who just had her second baby. I told her I'd come visit after she had her first, and now that baby's almost four-years-old." Sam's voice trailed off as she thought about all the other people she'd like to have visited, including a certain General in Washington, D.C. Multiple times, she had considered just dropping in on him, but she had chickened out every time. She told herself it was for the best. Sometimes it was better to not know. But now, in the cave, she wondered if that had been the right decision.

Daniel knew where Sam's mind was going. He had intentionally pushed her in that direction. "Well, I bet getting trapped in here will get us a little bit of downtime," he responded with a slight smile. "Might be a good time to travel."

Sam filed that idea away and turned the conversation back onto Daniel. "What about you? Any regrets?"

Daniel smiled. "Like you said, Sam. I've died at least twice. Kind of forced me to learn that I should seize the moment, you know? Within reason, of course. Pretty sure if I always seized the moment, Cam would have me off the team before I could blink."

"Lots of running ahead to get to the artifacts?"

He grinned and nodded. "Less shooting. More reading and learning and studying."

Sam grinned at that. "Can you imagine the look on Cam's face if you..." She was interrupted by a beeping noise from the scanner at her side. She didn't even have to look at the readout. She already knew what it said. "Oxygen's running low. We need to be quiet and try to conserve what little we've got left."

Daniel looked at Sam, his eyes understanding their situation. He didn't speak, just nodded at her words. Sam stretched her legs back out and leaned against the wall. Daniel reached over and grasped her hand in his, squeezing it gently. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing, tried to conserve as much oxygen as she could. They just had to make it a little longer. Just a little longer and the rest of SG-1 would get them out. She had to believe. She had too much she had to do. As she drifted out of consciousness, she found herself thinking of all the things she should have done, all the things she would do, if only they got out. If only...


	2. Vigil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the story that began [here](http://returnofpiper.livejournal.com/252045.html). Waking up in the infirmary was practically second nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this story is leading up to something. This segment is really an explanatory segment, but I tried to make it enjoyable to read as well.

(For you non fic-types on my list, thank you for putting up with all these posts)

**Title:** Vigil  
 **Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
 **Characters:** Daniel, Vala, Jack, Dr. Lam, Sam  
 **Prompt:** 3 - 085 - Breathe  
 **Word Count:** 1496  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Summary:** Part two of the story that began [here](http://returnofpiper.livejournal.com/252045.html). Waking up in the infirmary was practically second nature.  
 **Author's Notes:** I promise this story is leading up to something. This segment is really an explanatory segment, but I tried to make it enjoyable to read as well.

Voices. He heard voices. Voices he thought he recognized. But he couldn't quite make out what they were saying. He struggled to open his eyes. As his senses slowly awakened, he tried to figure out where he was. He was laying on something soft. Comfortable. And the sounds and the smells... he knew this place.

"Doctor Lam! Doctor Lam, I think he's awake!" Vala. He would recognize Vala's voice anywhere. Daniel opened his eyes and found Vala peering over him, a grin on her face.

"Welcome back, Daniel," she greeted.

Doctor Lam appeared at his bedside. "Good to see you awake, Doctor Jackson," she said, checking his vitals. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," he croaked out. "Little foggy."

She handed him a small cup of water. "Sip this slowly," she instructed. "The foggyness should pass soon," she said, making a note on his chart. She set the chart aside and looked at him, a serious look on her face. "Do you remember what happened?"

Daniel took a quick sip of the water to soothe his throat and nodded in response to Dr. Lam's question. "Looking at some writings with Sam when..." His eyes widened slightly. "Where's Sam? Is she..."

Vala sat on the bed next to Daniel, her legs swinging off the side. She pointed to a bed a few feet away. "She's here, Daniel. Still unconscious though," she said softly.

Daniel looked in the direction Vala was pointing. He could just make out a figure in the hospital bed and another figure in blue sitting next to the bed. "I can't..." he began, but stopped when Vala thrust his glasses towards him.

"Try these," she said simply.

Daniel slid his glasses on and looked in Sam's direction again. As Vala had said, Sam was still unconscious, hooked up to a number of monitors. She looked extremely pale. Her skin was barely a few shades darker than the crisp white infirmary bedding. He focused on the figure with Sam. "Is that...?" he asked.

Dr. Lam nodded. "General O'Neill's part of the reason you two got back in the first place. He's been here since we got you out." She walked to Jack's side and placed a hand on his arm. When he looked up at her, she inclined her head towards Daniel.

Jack stood and followed Dr. Lam back to Daniel's bedside. "Lookin' good, Danny-boy," he said, the grin on his face not quite reaching his eyes.

Dr. Lam placed her hand on Daniel's ankle and returned to her earlier question. "Daniel, I'd like to see what all you remember. You were looking at writings with Sam?"

"Sam, Vala, and I were in a cave looking at some writings," he began again, glancing in Sam's direction. "And there was an earthquake or some other sort of seismic activity. The walls collapsed around us and Sam and I got trapped. Couldn't get out without risking bringing the whole place down on us, so we just sat and waited. Talked a little bit." He paused, trying to figure out what else he remembered. "I guess we passed out. At least I did," he said, shrugging slightly. "How did we get out?" He turned to Vala. "How did you get out?"

Before anyone could answer Daniel, Dr. Lam squeezed Daniel's ankle and said, "I'll check on you later," she said with a nod.

"I was far enough from you and Sam to not get trapped," Vala explained. "I kind of wandered away for a minute," she admitted, a slightly guilty look on her face. "I got knocked down by some debris, but I'm ok," she said, as she held up her arm and pulled up her sleeve, revealing a brace on her left wrist. "Just a sprain. I found Teal'c and Colonel Mitchell and we tried to get you guys out, but we were afraid the whole place would collapse on you."

Daniel nodded slowly. "Sam was worried about the same thing."

"Mitchell and I headed back to the gate to contact the SGC. Took a few hours to get there, what with all the fallen trees and such," she explained. "There was this one huge tree..." she began.

"Vala," Daniel said, a slight smile spreading across his face. Not even near disaster would change Vala.

"Oh, right, sorry. Anyway, Teal'c remembered that the Asgard had a ship in orbit. Meetings with the president. So we contacted the SGC and had Landry contact the Asgard. And they got you out."

Daniel turned to Jack. "And that's why you're here."

"Yep," he said, his attention clearly torn between Daniel and Sam. "Had the Asgard beam me here too."

Daniel watched as Jack looked over at Sam yet again. "How is she?" he asked.

Jack shrugged, still staring at Sam. "She's... Doc thinks she's going to come out of it," he said, his voice betraying his concern. "She's finally breathing on her own. They took her off the ventilator a couple of hours ago. But she hasn't woken up yet, and her breathing's a little bit slow. There's talk of maybe putting her back on the ventilator for a while if her oxygen levels get too low. Doc thinks the lack of air affected her more because she's so much smaller than you are. So it's just going to take her a little longer..."

"Jack," Daniel said pointedly, his friend's distraction finally getting to him. He nodded in Sam's direction. Jack got the point, smiled at Daniel, and without a word, walked back to Sam's bedside and sat down in the chair he had previously occupied. It didn't escape Daniel's notice that Jack immediately reached for Sam's hand and clasped it between his own. Daniel watched his friends for a moment, then turned back to Vala, still perched on his bed. "A couple of hours, Vala? How long were we in there? How long was I unconscious?"

"You two were trapped for about six hours," she said, her face turning serious. "And you were unconscious for almost three days."

"Three days? What all have I missed? Has Jack..."

"He only leaves when Dr. Lam makes him," Vala answered softly, anticipating his question. "Mostly to shower, and at first, to get something to eat, but now we've just been bringing him meals here."

Daniel couldn't say he was surprised by Jack's actions. Jack was an impulsive man and very dedicated to his friends. But only for Sam would he keep such a vigil. No matter what happened, Sam always seemed to come first in Jack's book, and Daniel wasn't sure if either of them had ever grasped that. Thereefore, it was no surprise to see Jack standing watch over Sam's infirmary bed. After so many years working for the SGC, it was practically second nature to Jack and Sam. One of them would end up injured or sick and stuck in the infirmary, and the other was always there, with entertainment, snacks, or just hope and prayers.

After another moment of watching his friends, Daniel turned back to Vala, trying to shake off the slight melancholy that had set in. "We've?" he asked, echoing her previous words. "You mean you haven't been sitting here with me the whole time I was out?"

Vala grinned at him. "Well, umm, no. But I was here for almost all of the first day though... but that's mainly because Dr. Lam wouldn't let me leave. She wanted to make sure I hadn't hit my head or something like that. I told her I was fine. I was in and out of here though. Landry wanted to be briefed on everything that happened, of course. And then I heard it seemed like you were waking up, so, well, here I am!" she said, swinging her legs again.

Daniel grinned back at her and opened his mouth to reply when a series of loud beeps made him jump slightly. He immediately turned to Sam's bed, where Jack was on his feet, gripping Sam's hand tightly. He was looking around the infirmary in a panic, not saying a word. Dr. Lam rushed over, took one look at the monitor, and with a relieved look on her face, she pressed a button on the monitor. She placed a hand on Jack's arm and said something Daniel couldn't quite make out. She walked to the other side of Sam's bed and gently placed the oxygen sensor back on Sam's finger. As Daniel watched, the tension began to leave Jack's shoulders and he sat back down in his chair, leaning closer to Sam and whispering gently. Daniel could just barely make out his words.

"Just keep breathing, Sam. Please, just keep breathing."


	3. Standing Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting unfinished for a few weeks now, and I just wanted to get it done. I haven't decided if this is the end of this thread of stories or not.

**Title:** Standing Watch  
 **Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
 **Characters:** Jack/Sam  
 **Prompt:** 3 - 028 - Attentive  
 **Word Count:** 1050  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Summary:** She was worth it.  
 **Author's Notes:** This has been sitting unfinished for a few weeks now, and I just wanted to get it done. I haven't decided if this is the end of this thread of stories or not.

[Part One](http://returnofpiper.livejournal.com/252045.html)   
[Part Two](http://returnofpiper.livejournal.com/254953.html)

He held her small hand in his, running his thumb across the back of her hand. He moved gently when touching her, as if she would break. She looked so delicate in the infirmary bed, her hair a flash of color against the pillow. With his index finger, he followed the path of the veins in her hand, wondering how someone so strong could look so fragile. Pressing his palm against hers, he linked their fingers and wrapped his other hand around hers, using both hands to try to will some of his strength into her.

If he really thought about it, he shouldn't be there in the first place. Sure, it made sense that he have Thor beam him over once he heard about the accident, but he had responsibilities in D.C. He was lucky enough to have a very competent staff who had rearranged his schedule, organized teleconferences rather than face to face meetings, and cancelled everything that wasn't absolutely crucial. But if he really thought about it, he knew that it probably didn't look all that good for him to be sitting by the side of a woman who had been under his direct command for so many years, and if he thought about it, was really still under his command.

He also knew that no one would talk. Not yet, anyway. Not while Carter was lying here unconscious. When she was back on her feet (not if, when), they would probably be fair game for the gossip mill. Or maybe not. People already thought they were together. They were old news - when in all actuality, they weren't really news at all. It wasn't like they had done anything newsworthy. Yet, anyway. He was pretty sure even Daniel thought they were sneaking around, especially after his move to D.C. And it wasn't as if it hadn't crossed his mind. Oh, it crossed his mind at least once a day. But the timing was all wrong for them.

He wondered if it would ever be right.

Originally, he thought that the distance between them would be the end for their relationship, whatever it was. With her schedule and frequent trips off world and his schedule in DC, there wasn't much of an opportunity for a relationship. Sure, he always knew that their friendship would stay solid, but he figured that not seeing her every day would change things, somehow make it easier to keep it all locked away. Oh, how wrong he was.

They didn't get the chance to talk terribly often. E-mails here and there, the occasional phone call when one of them could come up with an excuse. Because it just wouldn't do for either of them to call just to say hi. Sure, hearing her voice might be the only reason he called, but he made sure to appear to have another reason - a question about one of her reports, or, if he was desperate, to ask her if she had seen the latest episode of The Simpsons. She never had, of course, but she always seemed happy to listen - and he could always make her laugh.

After this was all over, he promised himself that was something he would change. None of this "infrequent contact" stuff. He was going to talk to Carter at least once a week. He would have it written into his schedule if necessary. And he would try to see her more often too. And the rest of the old team, his mind added after a slight pause. Maybe he could schedule more of his meetings out here at the SGC. After all, how could he really keep track of what was going on if he never actually saw it. He was a hands-on sort of person. He would just have to be one of those hands-on generals as well. Maybe he could go on missions again too. He really missed that.

Or maybe he could just retire and move back here. And Carter would be so pleased to see him that she would... Well, those weren't the sort of things one should think about a person currently lying unconscious in a hospital bed.

Earlier today, she had opened her eyes. Just for a minute, but Jack swore that she saw him sitting there and smiled before closing her eyes again. Dr. Lam thought he was crazy. But he was sure it had happened. So he refused to leave her side for more than two minutes. And when he did have to leave, he made sure to poke her in the shoulder, just to make sure she wasn't almost awake. He wanted to be there when those eyes opened again. Of course, with all the poking, she would probably open her eyes and then slug him, but he was okay with that.

He wondered if she knew how much he worried about her, especially when he knew she was offworld. He didn't worry about her fighting skills or her ability to defend herself or to find a miraculous way out of a seemingly deadly situation. But he worried about the unknown, about the stupid accidents like this that no one could have prevented. He worried about the day that he would get that phone call that she hadn't made it back. Of course, there was nothing he could do about it. She wasn't about to stop going offworld, and he would never ask her. She had saved the planet too many times for anyone to even think about asking her to stop.

She probably did know all of these things. Somehow, Carter had learned to read him better than just about anyone. They never talked about it, but he was pretty sure he knew. But when she woke up, he decided he would tell her. Tell her everything. Well, not right when she woke up - that might be a little too much for someone who had just spent days in a coma. But once she was up and about. He would take her out to dinner. A nice dinner. That meant he'd be sticking around a while longer. And it also meant that people were guaranteed to talk. Even more than they already did. But he really didn't care anymore. She was worth it.


End file.
